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I feel so sad today. I heard yesterday about one of Jimbo's friend's wife passing. Now I don't know her on a very personal level, just knew of her. I also don't know all the story or anything like that but I do know she died shortly after giving birth to a baby. Hearing about all this took me back.. back to all the pain and even with everything I have been through I can't imagine the pain her husband and kids are feeling. Life is so short and everything can change in just one second. Like I said I didn't reallly know this girl but it just makes me soo very sad for everyone she was close to, especially her kids. Hearing about it just makes me wanna go get my kids and husband and run away..at least for a few days. I find myself sitting here trying to remember all the things I have ever done with my family so that I don't forget. And thinking what in the world I would do if Jimbo ever had to leave me like that?? I think about all the little unimportant things we argue about from time to time and I just hate myself for it. I think about all the times I was "too busy" cleaning or working to play a board game with Gage. And today I just feel like the worse mother and wife in the world. Have I been taking everything for granted? Even after everything I've been through, have I not realized how things can change? I am a total mess today. My mind is going about one million and one miles per hour.

Fall.

Fall is upon us. School started up again, football season is starting and soon the leaves will fall. I absolutely love this time of year. The weather is more enjoyable, not so hot and not extremely cold either. The holidays start up and I adore the holidays from Halloween to Christmas.

School’s been going on for 3 weeks now and Gage started 2nd grade this year, and his first day was like all of his other first days the previous 3 years. He got dressed and put on his backpack and momma cried when she had to leave him in his classroom. And then Jimbo reminded me that I’d been through this 4 times now and he would be fine and I knew I looked so dumb because I was the mom of a 2nd grader and I was still crying. But every year reminds me of just how big he has gotten. I always reminisce, especially now that Gabby is here, about when he was a baby. He has always been very smart, funny and loveable. He is so much like his daddy that it’s scary. Sometimes I wish I could keep him little forever but I know he has to grow and I am actually excited about it. The older he gets the more experiences we have together and the closer we become. I’m excited to find out the kind of man, provider, husband and father he will be one day (NOT soon though). He has the very best role model in my husband so I know he will be wonderful.

Football season has started up and even though I am a girl I love watching football. This is Gage’s second year in flag football. Jimbo is coaching yet again and this year is serving as commissioner of our league. I love watching kids play football, well all sports for that matter. They seem to have so much fun. I also love watching my husband coach all those kids. He’s such a good coach. There are several dads and moms that volunteer to coach but not everyone is good at it. My husband is awesome at it. We have yet to have a practice so we will see how it goes this year but I bet it will be great.

Also, coming up tomorrow September 10 Gabby will be 4 months old. WOW! I still can’t believe how fast the time is going. She has grown so much. Pictures of her when she first came home almost don’t even look like her. Her turning 4 months is hard for me because for some reason 4 months seems like she isn’t a little baby anymore. I know she is still a baby but it’s just different. These milestones seem so much harder this time around and it’s probably because I know this is the last time there will be a baby in the house for quite a while.